It really takes a lot out of you when you take a trip 1/2 way across the world and deepen into what truly means the most to you. What I mean is taking the time to really discover what you want to do with your time and with whom do you want to spend it with. One way to describe it is “jet lag,” the other way is to say it’s a deeper awakening and the energy and excitement that you experienced on a trip like that leaves you depleted and tired. I had already been traveling for a month when I had a two week break at home, and then traveled again to Boulder, CO for a week. When I landed back at home after all of my traveling, I felt a rush of commitments and expectations rising similar to how water rises during a flash flood. The rise of these waters was leading to the dam to break!
I had two more trips planned after my trip to Boulder and my heart and mind just weren’t committed to either of them. I needed to clean up these energy leaks and really think about what was most important to me at that moment. What was most important to me was rest, being with my family, focusing on deepening into the recent discovery of my lineage, and dedicating energy to creating a vision of an event to be held here in Virginia.
You can imagine the guilt and shame that washed over me as I had to go back to the individuals I had initially told that I would participate in their groups. However, I realized that if these individuals honored me as much as I honored them, our conversation would be filled with ease and not guilt. What I did was to state what was actually true for me now and that my ability to commit to these trips were just not aligned to my heart anymore. It felt good to say no and let them know I wasn’t going to travel. It felt good to think about being home and dedicating more time to what my heart really desired. In the end, both of them had great support and understanding for where I was sitting.
Despite what seems like a great opportunity or something that might be a great experience, sometimes saying “NO” gives you more space to breath. It also gives you additional opportunities to say “YES” to things that are really meant to come into your life, which are more aligned to what you desire.